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(News) Third Culture Kids Organizing Pledge

with 17 comments

On September 5th, 2009, TCKID has been under attack from hackers. We have temporarily shut down the community to protect members security. It may not be back up and there’s a possibility that the content may not be retrieved.

October 12th Update: Pledge success! A couple of weeks ago, we challenged you to identify supporters to save your TCKID community. The goal of the Organizing Pledge isn’t just to save TCKID which has recently been attacked by hackers, but it was an effort to identify and mobilize advocates for your Third Culture Kid community.

Over 300 have signed the pledge. You can read their comments and find out what’s next here.

How will it affect your community? Why is it urgent?

The webmaster said it was very complicated to fix it and the backups have been lost. The attack that was made on WordPress and it has affected some large websites. WordPress is being used by governments, nonprofits and corporations. Read the News of this attack on The Guardian.

How long will it take to bring it back? It may not be brought back exactly the same it used to be. Assuming that we can do it, it would more than a week. We are organizing a pledge to identify supporters by September 25th before moving forward so you can decide what to do.

The cost of inaction and band-aid solutions is great. Every day, hundreds of people depend on the TCK community for emotional support, outreach, research and much more.

“Hi there, It upsets me so much to learn that TCKid’s currently under attack. TCKid has truly been one of my biggest emotional supports. And I can only be too grateful to every single individual in the community. – Amanda”

But we’ll need resources to make your ideas become real – to pay for part-time webmaster, keep training volunteers, organize online TCK chats and more local event, and the best technology available to empower volunteers and make sure your voices are heard.

Now it’s up to YOU to decide how the community should move forward.

What to do next?

Can you chip in $1 or more to save TCKID to beat this attack?

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DEADLINE TO VOTE: SEPTEMBER 25TH MIDNIGHT PST

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TCKID has been attacked, but we don’t want to leave you without support! Donate now and get a free chat event with our members.

We will organize a chat event so you can get support. Even though the site is down we still want to help, because we don’t want to leave you alone. So you can join the chat and still get support from members.

tck chat

Why support the TCK community? Who is part of this community?

“I just wanted you to know that I am so happy that TCKid sponsored these chats in January. I have met a lot of wonderful people, and learned from them. I am really grateful to be a part of this community.” – Annette

When I lived in Texas, I struggled to fit in, no matter how hard I tried… then I actually met a TCK here in the TCKID chatroom. We exchanged emails, and eventually got on Skype … and now we’re best friends. This community really changed my life, this is why I got involved to help. – Scott”

I see this attack as a wake up call, to get more involved and to start a new way, shaping the community the way we like it to be. – Yu Yu Din

From Daniela Tudor, Brice Royer, Paul, Michelle Kim, Yu Yu Din & members of the TCK community.

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Voting and showing your support is just the first step. It’s up to you to build and organize support for the TCK community.

Invite your friends, family, and neighbors to vote and get involved.

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Written by TCKid Admin

September 7, 2009 at 6:47 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

  • Takako

    Years ago, I was really close to commit suicide because I felt no one understood me. Now it doesn’t bother me because I found I’m a TCK and I’m normal. I’m not alone anymore. That’s why I donated and support TCKID.

  • http://yuyudin.blogspot.com Yu Yu Din

    The first time I heard about third culture kid or TCKs is from a lady who worked with Unicef in Calcutta. I was in my early 20s by then. I didn’t know there was a term for us. I started researching more and discovered that I wasn’t alone, that I wasn’t crazy after all when I battle depression, work for free or in nonprofits (70% of TCKs do), or when I go through serious bouts of identity cultural crises. There were a lot of people like me who have the same “symptoms”. I personally don’t like labels but this one seemed to fit the bill.

    That’s also about the same time when I learned about TCKid.com — it was a community made up of TCKids. I learned about what Brice Royer, the founder went through, and we instantly connected. I wished that there was a community like this when I was growing up. There are patches of my childhood and teen years that I wanted support but didn’t know where to turn. Once I found this community I started sharing my experiences through comments. Lately, I’ve been giving my free time to organize events and build the mission and vision of TCKid. That’s why when I heard about the attack on TCK site I felt sad. Brice and I were in the middle of organizing an event. When he told me to donate $1.00 I donated $5.00 — I’m not rich, in fact I’m running my own nonprofit. $5.00 isn’t a lot of money either but I know that we have a lot of folks in our community.

    I see this attack as a wake up call, to get more involved and to start a new way, shaping the community the way we like it to be.

    I hope you join us in doing that, TCKs belong together.

  • Miyon

    It was when reading the posts and comments on TCKID website that I discovered I wasn’t alone. I had been meeting with a psychologist, wishing the pain and problems would go away.

    The moment I realized that it was normal to feel the way I did because of my background I gained comfort and over time I could learn to accept myself the way I am.

    I wish to share this comfort and love with others who are struggling with depression, and those who are isolated and lonely. Most of the time they go through this because something is wrong with them.
    Simply they didn’t have anyone who understood them.

    Much love to TCKID.

    Miyon

  • Paul

    Hi all, my name is Paul, I am part of this community and I would like to share why I donated.

    Brice let me know yesterday that TCKid had been under attack and the urgency of needing to do something about it. Well, believe it or not yesterday was an eventful day for me. For the last year my wife had been rejecting me. Despite us having three children with the youngest being deaf (and his struggling with communication) I have had to deal with all sorts of emotional blackmail and continual threats with her desire for me to move out, leave her the children and the house. Meanwhile, I lost my job in February too and have been looking for work. It hasn’t been easy dealing with the rejection of over 170 job applications and 8 unsuccessful interviews. I have been told by many that they would not have dealt with the situation well.

    Am I depressed? No. Do I feel rejected? Yes at times I do. So what has enabled me to cope with the situation so well?

    Let me give you some reasons why.

    Firstly I learned through the experiences of the last year that I had an anxiety problem, bordering on panic attacks because of the way I had been treated in the marriage. When I realised that I got help. I went and saw a therapist and learned to deal with the things that caused the panic and anxiety. The biggest trigger for me was a tendency to mentally go on to the worst case scenario and feel that I was loosing control of my life. From then on I decided that I needed a different focus if I was to prevent this anxiety issue from ruling my life. You see, emotionally and mentally I was investing my energy in a pessimistic view of how my life would turn out, the more energy I invested in pessimism the more that became a part of my life.

    So the way forward for me in coping with the situation I am still going through was firstly to accept my situation as it is and learn to think anew. I decided to invest my emotional and mental energies in the things that were tangible and that were real, rather than what could be. I invested my time and money in my kids, I tried investing time in my wife regardless of how she treated me (to no avail unfortunately), and I invested in myself also. I also focussed more on the way that God saw me too, someone of value and of worth and someone whose sense of security did not rely on feelings but on Him. The more I focussed on what mattered, the more those negative feelings of self doubt and depression and anxiety left me. I did not have to seek after things to help me feel better such as alcohol or spending money. I focussed on what mattered; friendship, family and a good attitude to life. The feelings changed without me having to force them to change.

    How do I know that I have been changed by the experience? Well a year ago, the news that my wife gave me yesterday morning would have sent me into a sense of panic and depression. Her bitter words and resentment of me would probably have broken my spirit, yet I listened to what she had to say and accepted it. I no longer had my emotions and my energy invested in the negative, I now felt secure for the future with or without her. Yes, yesterday my wife told me she had met someone else! Yes I felt sad but the reality is that I had learned to work on things in my life that I could change and that mattered. This was something that I could do nothing about. What I could do was deal with my wife in a Godly manner, and forgive her in my heart.

    Why forgive her you ask? Why not be resentful and hurt and bitter? Firstly, if there is any way back from this situation, how I deal with the situation could make a difference. Also, how I deal with it is something within my control, I did not want it controlling me. By being resentful, choosing not to forgive and be bitter means I am handing control of those emotions to my wife. All she has to do is say something to aggravate those emotions and she can manipulate me. By mastering those negative emotions again I am in control. If I let the situation control me, those anxieties would start to surface again and the cycle continues. I chose not to invest in negative emotions that would only end up making the situation worse however much I wanted to justify my hurts.

    Yes, yesterday was a difficult day for me. A lot to deal with. But despite it all I had learned to master the situation rather than let it master me. As TCKs we too need to learn to master situations and not let them master us. The signs that situations in life have mastered us are dependencies on getting emotional fixes; on issues with anxiety, depression and suicide. How we focus our emotional and mental energies can make all the difference in how we deal with any and all situations we come across. I had to decide I was going to be ok, I was going to cope regardless of how difficult things got. Then I was able to let go of the fears and deal with the situations.

    So when Brice mentioned to me that TCKid had been under attack, despite my domestic issues that day certain thoughts came to mind. Firstly I looked for the opportunity in the situation after accepting what had happened. I felt the need to believe that something good could come of this. Perhaps it could be a wakeup call to some of us of the value of TCKid. Perhaps it will mean we can get other organisations involved. But I wanted to see how I could invest my time and effort in dealing with the issue. The first thing I did as an unemployed father going through a divorce with the possibility of loosing it all, was to invest my money and my time into dealing with what I could do in the situation. I accepted the issues for what they are and decided to invest in what I felt mattered. In my current situation I invest my time and money in my children. If I did not invest in them then there would be nothing to hold us together emotionally. So the first thing I did was to invest a small amount of money in TCKid. Only $10. Yes I feel guilty in giving so little but in some ways I have to be careful in giving so much in my current circumstances.

    Over the years I have discovered we easily spend $30- $40 dollars buying things for ourselves as it makes us feel good, and we do it without a second thought. However when It comes to giving to something like TCKid, $30-$40 can make us feel like our wallet or purse is being pick pocketed. But recent events have taught me that I should invest in what I see as worthwhile and without the investment I can end up loosing something of value.

    I would like to suggest that if you feel TCKid is of value either to yourself or to others you invest in it. At my home Church, there are a lot of school teachers who are prepared to invest their time and money in children so on a Friday night we have over 110 children going to events held by the Church. Yet there is an unwillingness to invest financially in a pastor. No wonder then that there are twice as many children in the Church than adults. I believe that wont change unless people are willing to give financially to support a Pastor. In the same way I can see the same happening to TCKid. Without the investment in money and in time on the technology we will find ourselves in a similar situation in the future. We need to invest our thoughts in how to prevent this happening again, our time in dealing with the problems and let go of our unwillingness to invest and put our hand in our pockets regardless of our current circumstances. Yes, we are often willing to invest our emotional energy in blogs and friendships but again when it comes to giving financially we can often feel like a request for money is tantamount to somebody slipping their hand into our wallet or purse when we aren’t looking. Yet we could find ourselves in years to come looking back on an emotional investment that is no longer there as we have not been willing to invest financially in it. I suppose you could say that for me, the news that TCKid had been under attack was a bit like the news that my wife was seeing another man. I chose to deal with the situation with my wife in the best way I could and yes I am still in the middle of a divorce. We are still going through issues with TCKid but how we deal and handle the situation can make all the difference on the outcome.

    And yes, how you deal with issues in your life too can make a difference on the outcome even if you are in the middle of them right now. Emotionally you may feel that you cant cope, but feelings can change if you focus on what matters. Invest your time and money in things that are of value like good friendships or perhaps your family. Decide that you will be ok in the future regardless and decide what really matters and what does not.

    Excuse my little essay here but as a fellow TCK I ask that you invest some money in helping get things going for TCKid at this time. Think of the times you had no problem spending a load of cash on yourself when shopping without a second thought and then think of the investment that you can make in TCKid, however little or much it is. You may find that in some ways you are actually investing in yourself and in others too.

    Paul… a fellow TCK

  • John Chuidian

    I can’t really say much besides that it only feels right to support a cause I strongly believe in, and that the only way for evil to succeed is for good people to do nothing. I will share more later.

  • Erin Sinogba

    I managed to convince two people to donate to TCKID today! Yay!

  • miyon

    Erin, that’s great!
    Thank you for doing this!

    [edit] There was an omitted word in my comment above.

    “Most of the time they go through this because something is wrong with them.” should be “Most of the time they go through this NOT because something is wrong with them.”

  • Takako

    Paul, I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. But your comment about giving was thought provoking. – “Over the years I have discovered we easily spend $30- $40 dollars buying things for ourselves as it makes us feel good, and we do it without a second thought. However when It comes to giving to something like TCKid, $30-$40 can make us feel like our wallet or purse is being pick pocketed.”

    It is so true. Thank you for sharing about what you have discovered about giving with us.

  • Amanda

    It upsets me so much so to learn that TCKid’s currently under attack. I really hope that everything’s going to be ok soon, TCKid has truly been one of my biggest emotional supports. And I can only be too grateful to every single individual in the community.

    Take care everyone.

  • Nioucha

    @ Paul- I was very touched by your comments and all the things you are going through. I really commend your dedication towards turning your life around under such difficult circumstances and not giving into despair. I do hope you have plenty of loving and supportive people around you though, as we all need that during hard times. In some ways I could relate to what you were writing- the past two years have brought on a lot of hardship and personal tragedy in my life too, but during this time I also made some important shifts in how I was going to handle things, in what I wanted in my life , what I didn’t and looking for a sense of balance in all of it. My biggest hurdle is dealing with finding a job in this terrible economy- and though the seemingly continuous rejection or silence is disheartening (at times, really demoralizing) I also know that there are countless others that are in the same boat as I am trying there best to persevere. And even though I’ve lost count how many CV/resumes I have sent out, I am still at it and believe that things will not always stay this way…they have to get better!

    As an ATCK I found this TCK community invaluable and the fact that I found it at such a pivotal moment in my life was like kismet! TCKid really gave me a sense of belonging knowing that there are so many out there who truly understand, support and provide the kind of feedback and insight that only other TCKs can give. That feeling of “wow, they get it!” made feel I belonged to a nation that went beyond the physical sense of borders or location and that I am part of an ever-expanding group of people who truly take the meaning of a global village to a whole new understanding and level. And though I cannot donate much and feel a bit embarrassed about it, I will make my pledge to TCKid by the 25th of September in solidarity and support to a community that gave me a voice and a renewed sense of identity.

  • http://pmbethel.blogs.com Paulette Bethel

    TCKID is a movement whose impact on the internationally mobile community has been profound!!

    Please continue to support the community to ensure that TCKS/ATCKs/CCKs/ATCKs/TCAs/PTCKs have place of belonging to call home for many years to come!!

  • http://www.nontradstudents.com Elizabeth Sheppard

    Wow. I am glad I came here today. I am going to tweet about this and hope that people will come here and donate. It is a great site and I want it to go back up and help more people.

  • Andre Confiado

    Hey all!! I am glad as well that I decided to check my facebook this morning. What happened??

    TCKID helped me find an identity and helped in coping with my reintegration in my home country as well as when I was out and about.
    It also allowed me to belong to one community and it is always nice to hear from people who have similar experiences and have the same stories as I do. It always nice to hear and be heard by people who can understand and relate to your stories.

    I will gladly tweet about this and post it on my Facebook account.

  • andre_confiado

    ^ That was me up there btw. I had to re-register.

  • Rebecca Brown

    Rebecca Brown
    just put the pledge on my own profile and donated some $. I got 400 plus friends listed and most of them are ATCK’s and a couple still are TCK’s so hopefully they will sign as well.

    I’m finally going expat on my own steam by the way, and not following my parents around the world. Just landed a dream job in Doha. I start work there on the 1st of October.

  • Lisa Marie Laegreid

    I have signed the pledge, forwarded the challenge to 50+ of my TCK friends, and made a donation in gratitude for all the other volunteers tirelessly do to provide this important platform to us all. I encourage YOU to also get involved! 🙂 – Lisa Marie Laegreid

  • http://anthrodegree.wordpress.com Erin Sinogba

    Here is how I helped spread the word:
    – Updated my Twitter and Facebook accounts with a short statement and links to the TCKID site
    – Put a short statement and links to the TCKID site on my Gmail statuses
    – Put a link on my college social network
    – Wrote a short blog about why I believe helping TCKs is important and gave links to the TCKID site – http://bit.ly/BDf5M
    – Personally chatted with friends about TCKID and convinced them to donate and pledge their support

    You can do the same! It’s very easy.